hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
