Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
