Rock
Scissors
Fuck
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Randomize
