Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
