I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
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