Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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