Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
His hands were made for my vagina.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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