I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize