You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Randomize
