Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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