We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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