You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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