We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize