i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
