I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize