I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Randomize
