I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
