i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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