That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize