Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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