How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
The feeling are messing with the penis
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
