i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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