i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
