Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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