Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Randomize
