Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
and you fell through a lawn chair
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
