i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
