the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
