Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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