But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Randomize