we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
