Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
