it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
