Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
