I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
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