There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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