The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
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