...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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