She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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