Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
