TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
