He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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