you guys were way drunker than both of me
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
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