Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
