I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
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