I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
