I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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