Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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