I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Randomize
