dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
