Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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