Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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