You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
