he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
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