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• (818): View more from California

  Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.

  (310): View more from California

  good choice.

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• (614): View more from Ohio

  The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  A simple 'no' would have sufficed

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• (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes

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• (914): View more from New York

  I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets

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• (772): View more from Florida

  The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.

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• (979): View more from Texas

  He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic

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• (916): View more from California

  I'm back here naked if anyones wondering

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• (619): View more from California

  You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing

  (1-619): View more from California

  Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this

  (619): View more from California

  ...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper

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• (816): View more from Missouri

  I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties

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• (402): View more from Nebraska

  You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.

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• (314): View more from Missouri

  Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"

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• (781): View more from Massachusetts

  Act your age.

  (1-781): View more from Massachusetts

  I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.

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• (760): View more from California

  just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again

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