He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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