I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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